Is He Interested?

Author: Sandra Prior
Date: Apr 24, 2009 - 5:47:46 AM

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Legend has it men make the first move, then plead, cajole, wine, dine and basically bribe (via chocolates, flowers and dinner dates) women into their bachelor pads to either have their wicked way or get down on bended knee. Women – sweet, passive, delicate little flowers that we are – start out strongly by defying his attentions, until sheer persistence breaks down our resistance and we agree to… a sherry. Meanwhile, we fill our days by reading romance novels and twitching the net curtains, on the watch for knights on white stallions.

What a load of bollocks. Women have always made the first move and orchestrated the pace, flow, and direction of romantic relationships. Masters of intuition and emotional manipulation, women are adept at body language, able to gauge the emotional temperature of a room quicker than our nipples stiffen in a breeze. You can bet your next G&T, if he’s on his way over, armed with courage and a chat up line, you were the one who lured him there. Women choose from no less than 52 moves to show men they’re interested.

The average bloke chooses from a maximum of 10 to attract a female. In case you're not as good as the average female at deciphering body language, I've included the obvious along with more subtle, secretive, and (occasionally) downright loony signals.

It's all Good News

He'll serve you an eyebrow flash. When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they fancy us back, they raise their eyebrows. This lasts about a fifth of a second and happens to everyone, regardless of age, race, or class. Lifting our brows pulls the eyes open and allows more light to reflect off the surface, making them look bright, large, and inviting. A flash might be easy to miss but they're so reliable, if you do spot one, you may know someone fancies you before they know it themselves. Deliberately extend it for up to one second and you've drastically upped the chances of him getting the message you're interested.

His face ‘opens’. If he likes what he sees, his lips will automatically part for a moment when your eyes first lock, and his nostrils will flare. Along with the raised brows and wide eyes this gives his face a friendly ‘open’ expression.

He'll try to attract your attention. Some men might simply make a subtle tie adjustment. Others turn into Beppe the Clown and become so loud and boisterous, they're practically juggling and doing handstands. Any exaggerated movement or gesture usually means he's trying to stand out from the group. Another giveaway: he'll unconsciously detach from his friends by standing slightly apart, hoping to be seen as an individual.

He'll stroke his tie or smooth a lapel. We all know what these preening gestures mean. They're the equivalent of the female lip lick – ‘I want to look good for you.’

He'll smooth or muss up his hair. Guys do this involuntarily and more often than you think. Glance back and look at him next time you trot off to the loo and I bet his hands are already on their way to touch his head.

His eyebrows remain slightly raised while you're talking. A slightly surprised, quizzical expression means he finds you fascinating. Or completely bonkers. Quite frankly, either are preferable to a man who looks at you with a smooth, relaxed brow and eyes. That one simply finds you boring.

He'll fiddle with his socks and pull them up. In the old days, men only dressed up on special occasions and while the suit might have survived months in mothballs, the socks invariably continued to get worn (to death). That's why he spent half the night pulling them up, in an attempt to look the part. It's an extension of preening and it's astonishingly accurate. If a guy pulls up or adjusts his socks in your presence, it's an almost 100 per cent sign he's interested and trying to look his best.

Secret Signals he's up for it

Everything is erect Ahem. What I mean is he'll stand with all his muscles pulled tight, to show his body off. He'll also stand directly in front of you to show full attention and lean forwards.

He'll let you see him checking out your body He scanned your body automatically the second he laid is eyes on you. The difference here is you see him do it. The message: I'm considering you as a sexual partner.

He'll spread his legs while sitting opposite, to give you a crotch display. He's letting you have a good look at what's on offer. Hopefully he still has his jeans or trousers on at the time.

He'll stand with his hands on his hips. This accentuates his physical size and suggests body confidence. It's also a pointing gesture. We point with our hands at our best sexual assets and at the parts of our body we'd most like to be touched. If he has his hands on his hips, fingers splayed and pointing downwards, he's willing you to look, touch, and admire the bit he's proudest of.

He'll play with the buttons on his jacket. This shows you've made him a little nervous plus he has an unconscious desire to remove his clothes. The next stage is to push the jacket open and hold it there by putting his hands on his hips. If he takes it off completely, he's imagining his shoes under your bed.

He'll touch his face a lot, while looking at you. He'll stroke his cheek with the back of his fingers, touch his ears, or rub his chin. When we're attracted to someone, our skin (most noticeably our lips and mouth) become increasingly sensitive to touch and other stimulation. If you smoke, you'll take more drags on your cigarette. If you're drinking, you'll take more sips. You start touching your own mouth more because your lips are ultra-sensitive and it feels good. Plus it plants the idea in the other person's mind that it could be a good idea to kiss you...

He'll start squeezing his glass or can or roll it from side to side, slightly squeezing it as he does so when men are sexually interested, they start playing with circular objects. Why? They remind him of your breasts: his body is ‘leaking’ what's happening in his subconscious mind.

He'll perch on the edge of his seat to get closer. And if he crosses his legs, the top leg will point in your direction. He'll guide you by putting his arm on your elbow or in the small of your back. He's making sure he knows exactly where you're going by taking you there. It also shows you're being ‘taken care of’ so no other men need volunteer.

He'll lend you his coat or jumper. This is a protective, sexy, ownership gesture. It says ‘what's mine is yours’, something that's been close to their skin is now close to yours. Plus, it links you: he has to hang around to get it back.

For more articles on sexual health subscribe to Sandra Prior’s online newsletter at http://intercell.shacknet.nu

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